Marriage & Love

Recently, I have been hearing alot of my friend's brother, friend's friend, & even .. *Her who looked like a Him* (ahem.. Cough~) going to get married soon!!

Mm.. I feel like getting married too!!! But unfortunately, I dont have that someone with me.. I dont even have that capability to protect someone now.. Im just a student who is so poor & who can't even take up part time to earn a few $$ to make her dream come true!! Even if I do have that someone, I dont even have that amount to pay for the Wedding Expenses..!!! So, how can I get married still knowing that Im troubled!!

Two solutions:

First, go to bed and start dreaming (It happened once.. I saw somebody but not that someone)!!

Second, be patience and wait till I find a good job, save up..

Sometimes, I lose my patience after seeing 'anonymous' couples holding hands walking together, eating the same popcorn while watching movie together, sharing the same food and then using the same straw sharing the same cup (2 becomes 1 theory?)!!! Grggh... So, I always start to think.. Should I simply target a girl and Shoot out some of my 'Romantic' skills or should I say, Be Gentleman?? Mmm....

Meanwhile, I always tell my pals, "Hey, if you like that girl.. You should develop some guts and confident in you!!" & then, I would then match them up easily by *ahem* ways but of course, that depends if he is willing to follow my advices and do what I teach him to.. Like how to court that particular girl!!! Lols, sounds as if Im a Love GURU~

But then, the funny thing is that, This guru only has a big mouth!! He loses confident when it comes to himself.. So much of saying, but nothing is to be done if the subject involves him!! Mm, perhaps you may think that he doesn't have balls.. But hey, he does (Wanna hear some stories? Lols.. )

Alright, Im now coming 23 and after several past experiences or experience learnt from others, I don't simply shoot out randomly again..

Two cases"
(1) If ever, I found myself charming in the sense that, I realise somebody have a feel for me through a friend or a friend's friend.. I feel its kind of silly to accept her if I dont feel for her and in the end, I'm force to say those harsh words to hurt her!! Toying a girl is just not me!! Furthermore, I don't really like to have Axes neither do i like to be someone Axes..

(2)Or perhaps, after knowing that Im not charming enough and that she'll not pick me through a friend or my own perspective.. I find it risky to continue on telling her.. "Well, I really love you, ??????!!" and then got dumped in the end or worst, no reply forever.. Where you cannot be Sad nor Happy!! It keeps you stuck in the middle of no way!!! Furthermore,I believe she'll be extremely awkward to me again and perhaps see me very Childish.. Like when we were little, we used to say.. "Aywen, I friend you!! You friend me mar?" Lols.. I really miss my childhood!!!

Nevertheless, The feeling is disgusting for both & do you want to have such kind of feeling if you are in my shoes, wasting your $$ (Wait a min, you dont even have $$ if you were me..), time or perhaps, somebody time if you see yourself (referring to me, Lols) as charming~

Honestly, Im very silly in love.. I can do anything just for her (even death, if that would save her life!! I am ready to donate any parts of my organs to her~) I see her importance, her well-being much more than myself!! They say, "Love is blind!" Is it true? Will she blind herself for me too? Will she? Forget about the $$, protection, security because I can earn that later.. Will she blind herself for me and for love?

If she does, then she is the one.. I'll married her and take care of her, for the rest of my life.. & if you're wearing her shoes..

Will you marry me?

By: Aywen W.

(Ps: This shouldn't be a blog post.. I placed it here as a backed-up copy.. You can read the same one in my Friendster bulletin!! So, I hope I didn't violate my own promised!! Hehe.. )